** Lonely Soul **

“We’re born alone, we live alone, we die alone.
Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for
the moment that we’re not alone.” Orson Welles.

Whenever there is a time when i look at myself and the past I often wonder what has been happening with me..

People get attached to memories, history - they hold grudges, which become walls. If we could live in the moment, unattached to expectations or the past, we might have a chance of living ego-less.

But when I feel sorry for myself, I wonder why so-and-so didn't talk to me.
And I feel isolated.

However, I think the elderly have true loneliness when younger people ignore them or condescend.

It is indeed difficult to understand when someone does not talk for no fault of ours and that can lead to a feel of isolation. But, even with the same situation, with proper connectivity,
the why gets transformed to acceptance and compassion and that can liberate you from isolation.

I find issues that happened way in the past haunt my thoughts at times and provoke anger and resentment until I tell myself there's nothing I can do about it.

I wish I was on a beach right now. the sound of the sea, the waves crashing on always seems to make me feel a part of the nature on the whole. Why have I woken up to a day of feeling all alone? I feel I have absolutely no one to relate to.

I feel I have lost all my bearings, my friends. I look around and see everyone having their own clicks and here I am standing all alone , they welcome me but yet I feel am all lost… hmmm… horrible , this feeling of emptiness.

I don't know why this feeling all of a sudden has crept up on me. Maybe I miss the one I considered my best friend.. I cant seem to enjoy anything I am doing… I work mechanically , cook, take care of my family and even found time for shopping, but my mind seems so far, so alone. No joy in anything.

Each morning I wake up seeking the rays of sunshine but by evening am back to feeling all alone…

I want to walk along the waves, with my feet sinking into the sand .The waves wetting my feet. I love doing this specially at night .

Alone… I don't know if from being a peoples person I am turning into a loner . I seem to constantly think a lot, shrink into myself and seem not to find any peace if people are around me.

The music that once seemed everything my life, so soothing , so energizing now feels more like seamless noise that drives my mind around and around in circles.

Each day my heart shrinking more… and though my loved ones reach out to me , I seem to shrink away from them…am I scared of caring too much? Is it me changing or is it I cant accept the changes around me?

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